Husband's size obsession

Dear Alice,

My husband is obsessed with size. He keeps reading up on the issue and comes to the conclusion that women only want a man with a big penis. We have been together for two years and I am so happy with him. But he is convinced that he is too small. He thinks I am lying when I say I am satisfied with him, and it is causing silly arguments between us. How can I make him see sense?

Katasi, London.

Dear Katasi,

Tell your man that a woman's sexual satisfaction does not depend on the size of her partner's penis. The nerves that need stimulating are near the surface and not deep inside her body. A lack of satisfaction is usually due to a lack of knowledge, not size. He should believe you when you tell him that your lovemaking is great.


Arranged Marriage

Dear Alice,

My girlfriend's parents have arranged her marriage but she too scared to tell them that she does not want it to happen. I am 20, and she is 17. We have been seeing each other without her parents knowing for 18 months. I am white and she is a British born Asian. We love each other very much and would like to get married eventually. She gets on well with my parents, but I have never met hers. She is due to be married in a few months, but she is too scared to tell her parents that she does not want to get married. What can we do?

Adam, Bradford

Dear Adam,

There is a difference between an arranged marriage, when both parties happily consent, and a forced marriage. Is there any reason for your girlfriend's parents to be harmful to her if she decides against getting married? Going against her culture and religion would be a big step for both of you. If you love each other very much you can help her cope, but it may not be easy. She can get advice and support from the ASHA Projects, an Asian women's support centre on 020 8696 0023.


I need my Mr. Right

Dear Alice,

I met a wonderful man on holiday in Sri Lanka when I was celebrating my 20th birthday and I just cannot stop thinking about him. We met on his last night on holiday there. We walked along the beach and kissed. But he is married, so we didn't sleep together. He said I was really nice and would be in his dreams. But he left the next morning. And all I know is the town in which he lives. My life as fallen apart since I got back. I broke my leg falling down the stairs, and my brother is seriously ill. All i want to di is go to this man's home town, find him, and tell him how I feel about him. I have had terrible relationships in the past and this man made me feel so special. I cried like a teenager when I got home. Could I ever find him?

Karen, Bristol

Dear Karen,

This man was the icing on the cake of a dream holiday but he was just a holiday romance, and you were right not to go too far with him. Life has hit you with a lot of tough situations since you got back, but this man will not provide the answers for you. You had a nice time together, but now he is back home with his wife. If he wanted you to find him, he would have told you how. Look within yourself for understanding that will help cope with your problems and build a new life.


Should I tell my daughter the truth?

Dear Alice,

Our eldest daughter doesn't know that I am not her real mother. She was adopted at six months and will be able to find out the truth soon as she will be 18 in a few weeks. We get on really well and love each other very much. We adopted her because we couldn't have any children of our own, and have raised and loved her without any reservation. Now we are a happy family of six, and we love our eldest daughter as much as the others. I am so scared that if I tell her, I might push her away from me.

Carol, Kent

Dear Carol,

Secrets like this have a way of creeping out, and I can tell you don't want to deny her the opportunity of finding her roots if she wishes to do so. She lnows how much she is loved and she can't deny that. It is better that you tell her, whilst reassuring her how much you love her. For advice, call Parentline Plus on 0808 002222